missing Saturday mornings

Video Hits (Australian TV series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I was younger, during the earlier years of high school, Saturday mornings had a sort of comforting ritual to them. I could sleep in to around 9-9:30am, then get up, make some breakfast of my choice (usually toast) and watch Video Hits. I would lose myself in the land of music until noon, making lists of new songs to add to my collection and reminiscing with old favourites.

Then I got to the age where employment becomes a necessity, and suddenly I was working weekends, a slave to endless line of consumers craving salty hangover fixes. And my Saturday morning routine kind of disappeared.

Even cutting down my work shifts didn’t help, since that was when I hit the serious end of school and all of a sudden everything became about when I would study.

Then, finally, school ended, Saturdays returned – but now Video Hits was taken off the air, and even Rage wasn’t playing for long in the mornings.

I just miss the comfort of those days, where I could forget all about my life for a while and lose myself in music, blankets and feelings of contentment. Even during the tougher times of my teenage life, it was a small safe haven once a week.

I long for that. I crave that safety and contentment; the feeling that for a few hours, everything might be alright.

Saturday mornings meant hope and the freedom of a whole weekend to do as I pleased.

I want to reclaim that. But you can’t go back, so I guess I’ll have to find a new way to experience it.

Advertisement

a little bit absent, but you can find me at the Creek

My apologies for my absence over the last few days, the description does call this a daily blog. But unfortunately, my health hasn’t been great and so I’ve struggled to write some posts. I actually can’t remember the last time I posted (though that isn’t saying much, my memory is a little preoccupied these days).

There is, however, a small speck of light. I will be back soon, and hopefully better than ever. I just have a couple of hurdles to overcome first, but then I will be getting things back on track.

Its interesting, in a way, but had you asked me two years ago what my greatest fear was, I would have (and did) described my current situation. Now that it has snuck up on me, and the storm has returned, I find myself being pulled about by the tide; alternating between still being totally terrified and occasionally feeling like it’s just no big deal.

It naturally follows that I find myself seeking solace from adolescent TV dramas – because who else is as angsty and confused but teenagers? Especially those in the 90s. And so it goes that I have recently invested in the first 3 seasons of Dawson’s Creek, and I am contently ensconced in blankets on the couch, watch the whole Joey-Pacey-Dawson-Jen drama play out (Pacey and Joey forever!). I say content, but it’s a turbulent kind – it flits in and out, as I search for comfort from this dreary storm. At least the weather seems as confused as I do.

stuck in a loop of late nights

Every night I spend at home I tell myself I’ll go to bed early. I’ll just finish this episode, or that movie. I’ll briefly browse tumblr and facebook, just to see if anything important is there, and then that’s it. I’m going to sleep.

(Wikipedia)

This never happens. I used to go to sleep at 9:30pm every night, without fail. But now my routine has become midnight at the earliest, and then sleeping until noon the next day. I don’t like this, and yet I find myself writing this post at 10pm, and I probably won’t publish it until 10:30. After that there are a still a few things left to do. Do you see my problem?

No wonder I’m so zonked during the day, and constantly craving sugary snacks. It’s terrible.

I really will change it. Even if I tuck myself in at 11pm tonight, I’ll have started to fix the situation.

I’m not a night owl, so why am I trying to become one? I’d much rather be fresh in the mornings and make use of the daylight than suddenly be able to get things done after 8pm.

I don’t want to turn this into a bad habit.