relating to Lenka

As sly as a fox, as strong as an ox
As fast as a hare, as brave as a bear
As free as a bird, as neat as a word
As quiet as a mouse, as big as a house

All I wanna be, all I wanna be, oh
All I wanna be is everything

As mean as a wolf, as sharp as a tooth
As deep as a bite, as dark as the night
As sweet as a song, as right as a wrong
As long as a road, as ugly as a toad

As pretty as a picture hanging from a fixture
Strong like a family, strong as I wanna be
Bright as day, as light as play
As hard as nails, as grand as a whale

All I wanna be oh, all I wanna be, oh
All I wanna be is everything
Everything at once
Everything at once, oh
Everything at once

As warm as the sun, as silly as fun
As cool as a tree, as scary as the sea
As hot as fire, cold as ice
Sweet as sugar and everything nice

As old as time, as straight as a line
As royal as a queen, as buzzed as a bee
As stealth as a tiger, smooth as a glider
Pure as a melody, pure as I wanna be

All I wanna be oh, all I wanna be, oh
All I wanna be is everything
Everything at once

These are the lyrics to Everything At Once by Lenka, and by golly does this describe how I feel right now. Last night I completed the dreams brainstorming in my happiness journal, and I noticed that I want so many things out of my life. And very few of them are linked to what I’m doing right now, but they’re also very risky and require some financial backing, which is why I am where I am. I want to open my own cafe, and I have already got some very specific thoughts on it. I know what I would call it, what the focus would be, and even have musings on the interior. One late night, I even designed the logo for it. But it’s the kind of place that would suit a location that I can’t really afford (not that I can afford any of them), and it would be very risky, since I don’t have any inkling how people would take to it. It would essentially be an oatmeal bar, though of course there would be other options. I’m thinking of calling it h(oat)e. There would be a few ‘chef’s recommendations’, such as apple pie oats, pb+banana+agave (I want the place to be vegan friendly, so no honey unless specifically requested), double chocolate, berrylicious, pumpkin pie. Then there would be the option to design your own, by picking and mixing toppings.

But see, I’m not sure that many people appreciate oats like I do. So in comes the risk, as well as the fact that starting up any small business is risky.

Another things listed in my dreams was to expand my skills in design and photography. I really enjoy them, and much in the way that people have pipe dreams of being famous singers or CEOs, I have a pipe dream of being a photojournalist. It’s certainly nice to fantasise about.

Then, of course, I eventually want the whole marriage and family thing. But I also want to spend at least 3 months in Europe, when I have a decent amount of savings, so that doing so isn’t too financially stressful. And so I can do things like go to super expensive restaurants in Paris, or stay in random luxury hotels.

There were a few other things, but they aren’t really worthy of mention, or are just extremely personal.

I just want everything. And I want to be everything.

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